Sunday, 11 September 2011

Is it so hard to stay faithful?

The title of this post is probably going to make people assume that I have in fact been in an unfaithful relationship, I have not, mostly due to not trusting people.  But even thought I myself have not been in a relationship that has failed due to the other persons wondering eye I have been effected by other peoples experiences. It makes me question my faith in people.  I dont understand how someone can say they love someone but then hurt them and not feel bad about it.  I have a friend who’s name will remain annoynmous who occasionally cheats on her long-term boyfriend with an old boyfriend (who she clearly still has feelings for) but doesn’t feel bad about it because things have got boring with her current boyfriend and she wont leave him because then she would be on her own during the week.  To me that is utterly selfish.  Selfish to her boyfriend and selfish to single women everywhere.  I dont think its fair that she can have two nice guys when I have none.  Especially when the nice boyfriend will probably have serious issues in the future if he was to find out.

It makes me really sad that in the modern world people can’t be satisfied with having one lover they need to have two or even worse muliple lovers.  Although I despise the press coverage Cheryl Coles break from Ashley Cole has receieved it is a good example of love in the modern world.  Peter and Jordan would be another good example.  When was the last time you read a true love story in the paper?  I for one cannot remember the last time I read such a story.  Well a true story - I have recently discovered a love for regency set romance novels.  The stories are like most love stories in the sense that its never easy theres always something standing in the way of this great love but in the end everything works out and they end up getting married, having hot lavish sex and lots of babies.  But the thing I love the most about them is the time period there set in - it makes them believable.  If i was to read the same story set in this time period I would be more sceptical.

Dont get me wrong I am aware people were notoriously unfaithful in those days but I do admire how it was all out in the open.  If a husband had a mistress the wife knew about it.  Was it fair?  In my opinion no - but atleast he wasn’t lying.  I feel a lot of marriages back then were sheerly for convience - if someone was of a certain social rank and it was a good match then it would happen.  But both people were very much aware of this and im pretty sure both partners would try and make the marriage work as much as possible without having to bring in a third party. The marriage would stay intact because it was better for both parties place in society to remain in the arrangement.

Whereas these days I feel people cheat simply because they can.  If they can get away with it they’l do it.  If they do it once they will atleast think about doing it again.  Like everything in life if you do something bad but you enjoy it your most likely going to do it again regardless of who it hurts.  Simple because you enjoyed it and at the end of the day we do what is best for us majority of the time.  It may be somewhat selfish but it’s just the way things are.  I am not in anyway saying cheating is ok though Im just stating why a cheater does cheat.  Im not taking personal reasons into consideration such as abusive partners etc because everyone has their excuses.  In my opinion if your not happy in a relationship just finish it.  It may not be easy but hurting your parnter is not going to make things easy in the long run.

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