Friday, 4 November 2011

Oh. Dear.

If you know me personally you will be aware that for the last couple of months I've had a sore knee.  I say a sore knee because I do not know what is actually wrong with it but its more sore than the words sore knee would lead you to think.

My sore knee means I can't kneel or bend down properly - you don't realise just how much you use your knee's until you can't properly use them.  You use your knees in sex a lot by the way - you'll notice this now I've told you.  I was coping with the sore knee albeit moaning about it regularly until my other knee started to hurt and my neck also went a bit dodgy.  A couple of days before I moved into my new accommodation may I add.  Utterly delightful.

My current disability has for one resulted in me hobbling about the place - not sexy. Nearly falling down stairs when my knee just gave way as I was walking down a flight...the fear, I tell ye!

But also if I happen to end up on the floor I struggle greatly getting back up.  I will explain this through some anecdotes.

You would think reaching into your flatmates cupboard to get a potato masher would be simple enough but when you can't bend your knees to peer in this is when trouble comes.  So I thought I'll bend down quickly grab it and presto I'll be mashing my potato's...but no.  I fell on my arse and then had to bum my way across to the fridge to use it help myself up - all with the masher in my hand.  My flatmate would need to walk in at this point and see me doing this...

Trying to put your clean underwear away in a drawer - again not so easy. I slid off my swivel chair with what I thought was a thud but my flatmate next door didn't hear my actually fall so I can't be nearly as fat as I think I am in my head - but I'll save that for another post - she did hear me giggling hysterically though.  So much so that she had to hang up on her Mum and come see what the fuck I was up to - to find me on the floor surrounded by pants.  She then had to obviously help me back up.  It was a laugh or cry moment cause it was agony the way my legs bent as a fell but it was too funny not to laugh at.  The same day another swivel chair at uni had confused me by refusing to actually swivel...but it was because I had the chair down too low - I thought the chair was just broke.

Earlier on that night said flatmate helped me dye my hair but because I can't kneel we had issues getting the dye of - so I thought I'd just go in the shower - fully clothed including shoes.  The horror on the flatmates face made me realise pretty quickly that this just wasn't practical.

There have been plenty of examples of me sitting on the floor and not being able to get back up but the ones I have highlighted are the funniest - this thing the physio gave me is also pretty hilarious though.

It is as stupid as it looks - believe me!

For one: I can't use this on my own - I need someone to put me into it or I run the risk of strangling myself and two well its just straight up hilarity when someone does help me into this.  Oh and I also need someone to help me out of it or again I run the risk of killing myself.

This was what the physio advised me to do...I don't think my knee has a hope in hell or recovering.

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